Thursday, February 11, 2010 @10:01 PM
CNY dreads.
CNY should be something people look forward to...i mean which season of the year you will be entitled to 2 to 3 days public holiday?
But, every CNY is the same especially the eve of CNY. I specially dread it.
I am feeling so blue about it because the week before CNY, there were quite a number of "stuff". Every year, I will my best to be positive and also, to visit my relatives. After all, even though they are family but you only get to see them once a year. (not much of family right..well, its not really easy to maintain the relationship actually) BUT, this year, I am seriously considering if I want to do the visiting. I know its quite disrespectful not to visit...I am also not keen to go for reunion..because I don't really where to go for now.
I am just feeling so blue now. I hope CNY will be over soon..despite of the good public holiday rest.
I kinda miss Jon now too.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010 @11:11 PM
It has been awhile since I blogged..
Hm. But, i doubt that anyone really reads my blog so..haha..never mind lar. I have alot of updates about life, God and many many things. But, didn't really think of sharing until today. I guess I have been thinking about it. :)
Submission vs PrideMany things happened in the month January'10 that the time just flew past. But, I really thank God for His constant grace, moulding and love for me. He has been speaking to me alot about meekness, submission and servanthood that the message kept coming back. Usually, when the Lord speak to you about above issues, you feel really uncomfortable. But for me, I really want to work at it. In fact, i have that desire to do so. I really dislike my moments of pride. And I thank God that my eyes were opened to that and my heart aligning to His heart. Thank God! :))
Jon and meJon just started his studies!! Gosh. He is overwhelmed. 3 modules a semster is no joke. Anyway, I was all ready to embark on his next season of his life with him. Yesterday, we charged at his first assignment together at Coffee Bean. MAN. All the sociological terms made me so confused. Even though I did the module, I felt so rusty reading his text. Actually, I am a sociology major you know? I majored in criminology, a discipline of sociology. BUT, I am really not an academic person. Surprisingly, we had quite a good time. We discussed, joke, head-ache together, disturb one another ;P. It was fun.
Recently, i felt that our relationship has taken to a deeper level again. It was during November that I felt the deepening. And, yes, these one month, I felt the deepening again. Some emotions are quite hard to describe..I felt that we are just walking this journey together. Whatever major decision we took, we will walk it together. And, that's very nice.
Not like we don't quarrel..due to our strong personalities, we argued quite frequently. However, always at the next moment, we realised quickly that how much we treasure each other & not want to hurt each other..the "Sorries" will come.
I really thank God for this relationship and especially for Jon because he is such a wonderful gift from God. Not just for his good points but also for his bad points & habits.
Jon dear, I love you.. :)I thank God because He is also in our relationship. And that I could always rely on God for His help, grace, mercy and guidance.
Sometimes, I would think about the past. And if I made a different decision..what would I be like now? Well, because I have gone through the "desert" and "wilderness", the repentance of a mistake, a growth process..i felt I have grown as a person compared to 2 years ago. I am so convince that no matter what the Lord has purposed for me to be, it will come...the same lessons He wanted me to go through, He would..maybe in a different form. And, His grace is always sufficient for me. That gave me great comfort..I could never live without God.
In terms of other aspects like work, ministries, church etc...I have alot of seeking the Lord, praying and thinking through to do... SIGH. Pray lor.
That's all about me for now.