To Be with God, Pray, Reflect and Seek Him.

I went to Southern Thailand in March'08. I went there alone and it was the best time ever because came close to God and commune with Him. During those days, I prayed, seeked and reflected. I came back with His peace and much faith in Him. It was then a difficult time.

Now, I am going to Northeast Thailand. It has been 6 months since march'08. Many thought that I am going for a mission trip. Well, no doubt I am. Moreover, I have an agenda for my trip. Once again, as the year is going to come to an end, I am going to commune with God closely. I want to seek His face for that something I have been seeking for almost 1 year. That something is actually not a thing but it's someone. =)

Till then =)

Happy Birthday =)

23rd August~More pictures of memories.
Us.
Balloon which fails to fly up to the sky
Deep in thoughts on her love one.

23rd August~A Day Of Remberance and Love


Simply love the beautiful colors of the balloons

Give me STRENGTH, PEACE, HOPE AND PERSERVANCE.
~Take me Home to You.

I still remembered telling myself to take it slow. Hm. Think there it's kinda hard.

Things to consider and do:

1) Translation of 118 slides into Bahasa Melayu
2) Quizes, readings, assignments due in a month's time.
3) Beloved Oct retreat (prog, location, Bible study, activities)
4) Yep...more bible studies with people
5) Beloved outreach in Nov
6) Henderson Community in oct, nov and dec
7) Plans for Beloved in 2009 (meetings and more meetings)
8) Woodlands Cefc carnival in septs..

....... -_- I am quite tired but excited at the same time. Hm. What strange feeling is this?

PLUS...........

Well. I am moving residence soon. It gives me creeps and fears because it’s a change again =(( Adjustments. Uncertainties. Fears. By the way, I still don’t know where to move to. Ha. That’s makes it all exciting and challenging. There is NO WAY I can trust myself or rely myself in this matter. Only God can help me. He helped me always. Where I am staying now is His grace and provision or else I will be staying somewhere else. There is always a place. Always a way out. But I want God’s way because He provides the BEST and He pulls you through. He knows and I don’t.

I have a few months to move and I am praying & seeking God. Yes. Seems early to some to think about all these but I need to go to God in prayer about this. My things are getting lesser each time. =) Material things~ I realized the lesser importance of them…my memories and people are my investments~ I invest my love, time and resources in people.

When it’s time to move, think I will tear all over again. Gosh. I will miss this place. Where God is, my Home is…=)

"Trust God with all Your heart. Lean not unto your own understanding."

"There are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the LORD's counsel -that will stand."-Proverbs 19:21

Where are you? Take me away in a balloon to where God, me and you plus roses, lilies, rabbits, bed, waterfall, beaches and children yours and mine fav things are.

The Night with my dear Bro =)

Have you ask yourself this: How do you know God love you?

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and Only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”- John 3:16

God loves us because He is love.

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” -1 John 4:8

He described Himself as:

“Then the Lord came down in the cloud and stood there with Him and proclaimed His Name, the Lord. And He passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin.”- Exodus 34:5-7

There are 3 types of love in the bible:

Eros – erotic love; egotistical love (it’s the physical love, romantic love that seeks to satisfy own desires)

Men and women experience sexual love in such a manner. God has intended this love to only be experienced in the covenant of marriage. Can you imagine if our God created us only to satisfy His desires? Well, in Greek mythologies, many Greek gods were such. Our God is not a God who needs us to satisfy His own desires.

Philia – Mutual love (Can be described as friendship love or conditional love)

What Philia means is loving others when that person loves you. It’s described as conditional love and also friendship love.

Agapae Love – God’s love; Altruistic Love

It’s a decision of the lover to love his/her beloved regardless of circumstances, person, reactions and conditions. In another words, it’s unconditional love. God looks at us in name of Christ Jesus and He loved us so much that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our wrong-doings so that we will be able to establish a connection with Him once again! What greater love is for God, Himself to die for you?

“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.”- 1 John 4:11-12

“For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.”-2 Corinthians 5:14-16

=D My love for you, you and you grew because I no longer look at myself or you only. I love through Jesus and look at things through the lens of Jesus. I thank Him for helping me love the way that pleases and honor Him. Sometimes, it gets really tired and I struggle. But, I told myself I would choose to love, respect and forgive always. My covenant is coming to an end. I don’t know if I could. .
I tasted God’s unconditional love for me, I wouldn’t want anything else. Do you know that God love you truly now? It’s not too late when you read this. =D Come to Him. It’s the ONLY WAY.

“The LORD is my helper
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?”- Hebrews 13:6

Dear friend, remember what we prayed together on Friday night, claiming God’s promises? I am encouraged by God’s power and promises. Nothing~ Nothing is impossible and beyond God. We started our meetings regularly since April. Now, it has been August. Only four months has passed but I see God working in your heart and life. He is not a God that will simply leave you and only working on the surface of things. But He is a God that works in us inside and out. He will~ Trust Him and Be open to Him. Nothing can do but Him. People who can struggle throughout their life without God and they died in pain and bitterness. We don’t have to accept the way things are because we have God and He will heal and help you.

I know it has been hard for you....don't give up..

Jia You sweets!!!! We will be there cheering you on. =P =P

Beloved Woman Fellowship~An End to a New beginning

Dates and Days

10 days~Going away..(haha don't want to come back..=P)

120 days~A special day I hope =)

138 days~ End of covenant with God and myself

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A year is going to pass.....

22/08/2007

09/01/2008

17/01/2008

18/01/2008

31/01/2008

11/05/2008

------------------------------------------------

A Broken world

Girls and woman. Everything about them is relationships. Your latest struggle? Relationships. They long to love and devote themselves to others~vice versa. But, we are all broken people =(

and so much of these relationships caused so much hurts that we couldn't love sincerely at all. We doubt. We mistrust. We don't go for guys but the same gender~they seems much safer. We hate. We simply long for love but we couldn't love as well.



Look @ this story. My heart bleeds when I read this:

Just 14 and she's slept with 25 men ~The Sunday Times – 04 April 2004

JUST 14, Zoe (not her real name) is hungry for love and has been looking for it in all the wrong places.

Over the past year alone, she has slept with more than 25 guys.
The Secondary 2 schoolgirl sneaks them into her room in the four-room Housing Board flat she shares with her hawker grandparents, who sleep in the next room. She has a sailor father whom she hardly knows and hardly sees. Her mother, a salesgirl, lives with a boyfriend elsewhere.
Last year, Zoe slit her wrists and became one of 167 youngsters placed under the Beyond Parental Control programme run by the Ministry of Community Development and Sports. Her mother said she was unable to discipline her.

Beneath her tough-talking exterior, however, Zoe dreams of being rescued from it all by a knight in shining armour.
'My dad used to beat my mother up. The few times a year he came home, they would quarrel. When he tried to turn over a new leaf, we found out my mother had a boyfriend. I couldn't accept it and we've stopped talking.
I'm also angry with her for turning me over to the courts and filing a Beyond Parental Control complaint against me. As my friends say, which mother would want her child to have a record? I feel abandoned.

Over the years, I've become very rebellious to seek attention. I smoke, drink, talk back and use vulgar words. Once, I even beat my mother up when she refused to let me use the computer. There were blue-black marks on her arm.

What do I really want? Just someone to love me. I'm often sad and need someone to console me.
Last year, I started going on the Internet Relay Chat when I felt lonely at night. I met an 18-year-old guy online. We met for a movie and the next day, I lost my virginity. I invited him home when no one was around. At first, I didn't want to but it was quite fun and the pleasure made my pain go away for a while.

But afterwards, I felt guilty, dirty and cheap. Especially when he told me he had a girlfriend. After that, I couldn't be bothered any more. What is done is done. I cannot turn back the clock. I decided not to live in a fairytale, to enjoy flings and be less devoted. In the past year alone, I've done it with about 25 other guys.

For a time, I used to bring home different guys almost every night. I would call them up, ask them to come over after my grandparents went to bed and sneak them into my room. Sometimes, they would take me to their house, budget hotels, carparks or staircases.

My longest relationship so far has lasted seven months, the shortest three days. The guys were mostly students or NSmen. Only a few used condoms - only because I asked them to after reading about sexually-transmitted diseases. I know I'm fortunate not to be pregnant yet.
The desperate ones give me $50 or so. It's an easy way to make money. I'm a big spender. My mother doesn't earn a lot and cannot afford to give me more than $5 a day.

The sad thing is a lot of guys never called me back after I slept with them. Maybe it's because I'm not pretty. I fall in love very fast even though most guys treat me as a sex toy. I guess guys go for sex and girls go for love.

I'm now addicted to sex, even though I've tried to stop. Once, I met a good catch from Raffles Institution who really loved me. But after I introduced him to heavy petting, he felt guilty and broke up with me after 12 days. It took me forever to forget him.
Yes, I do have friends but I've never dared to tell them about this. I'm scared they will be shocked to death and will leave me. I don't think others my age have sex. They talk only. I try to be in their world since they can't be in mine.
The world I live in is way too realistic. It's all about money. I can't wait to grow up and earn my own. To tell you the truth, I'm quite pressured about my school work. I don't want to be retained. I just want to go to polytechnic and start my own business.
But my grades have become worse over the years. I wake up late, play truant and don't hand in homework. I use my family problems as an excuse. Even though I'm quite intelligent and absorb things very fast, I managed to pass only one subject out of eight last year.
What put me off is being yelled at in front of others. I can be very emotional and rash. Once, when my Maths teacher threw a book at me, I grabbed a penknife and some Panadol and ran to the toilet.
I swallowed at least eight pills. The rest of the day was a blur. I didn't even feel anything when I pinched myself hard.
Last July, I tried to commit suicide at the Esplanade area. It was the first time I drank a whole bottle of e33, an alcohol pop drink. I became drunk and started to think about my sad life, my parents' quarrels, the guys who left me.
I smashed the glass bottle and cut both my wrists with it. Blood dripped all over but I felt no pain.
My friends stopped me, called the ambulance and I was rushed to hospital. Because I am underaged, they called the police, my school and my mother, who came to bail me out.
Since then, I've been going for counselling with my mother once a week at a family service centre. She is also suicidal and has tried to jump before.
To be honest, I've always felt insecure with her. I feel I don't know anything about her, her past, her relationship with my father, her struggles. Somehow, there is a wall between us.
I don't really have anyone who cares for me in this whole world. That's why I'm looking for my true love.
One thing I worry about is how I will tell my future husband next time about all the naughty things I've done with my body.

But if he really loves me, he won't mind. Will he?'

-----------------------------Your heart bleed too?---------------------------------

THE WORLD IS BROKEN~THAT IS REALITY. THE BIBLE SAID THAT WE ARE LIVING IN BROKENESS, IN PAIN AND IN OUR WRONG-DOING. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY. THE TRUTH IS JESUS CAME TO SAVE YOU AND I FROM YOUR HURTS AND PAIN.

CHECK MORE OUT: http://www.mytruefriend.org/

I dreamt

=P I dreamt for 20 minutes this morning. I woke up in the morning and prayed, read the bible. I was so sleepy and couldn't focus. Then i fell asleep and I dreamt. Nice dream =P. Shouldn't tell you what I dreamt ;))) it's a secret..

Bless and Love-Your Responsibility too!

-_- Am really busy with so things.

Firstly, I just made a convenant with God on 05th August~I will be faithful because He is faithful.

www.dictonary.com : Faithful

1.strict or thorough in the performance of duty: a faithful worker.

2.true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.

3.steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: faithful friends.

4.reliable, trusted, or believed.

5.adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original; accurate: a faithful account; a faithful copy.

6.Obsolete. full of faith; believing—Related formsfaith·ful·ly, adverbfaith·ful·ness, noun—

Synonyms 1, 3. true, devoted, staunch. 3. Faithful, constant, loyal imply qualities of stability, dependability, and devotion. Faithful implies long-continued and steadfast fidelity to whatever one is bound to by a pledge, duty, or obligation: a faithful friend. Constant suggests firmness and steadfastness in attachment: a constant affection. Loyal implies unswerving allegiance to a person, organization, cause, or idea: loyal to one's associates, one's country. 5. precise, exact.


As the year comes to an end, I am feeling butterflies in my stomach. I re-new my committment to my para-church ministry- The Beloved and had been seeking and praying for God's direction in 2009. I am still pondering if I want to register it as a society officially. (Well, it means more work; does it really help in ministries? Is there a need for Beloved long term?) I have a couple of bible studies to prepare too. *Phew*

There is quite alot of assignments in school too...I have to translate to malay language -_- I will pick the language up and thai too.

Changes @ work too..moving on to new pastures

Changes in church? Orh..maybe..

Uncertainties in residence? Well, I am certain that I will be moving out soon.

Trust God..Yep. =P

=p Being Blessed By Them

My brother, Matthias’s prayer last night:

“Dear Father in heaven, thank You that You help me find my wallet and ez-link card. I am very lucky because my teacher says not many people can find their ez-card back. Thank You so much. You are very clever. In Jesus’s Name I pray, Amen

(My dear friend’s first public prayer) Elaine’s prayer e last Bible study:

“Dear Father in heaven, thank You that You are in my life and You will change me. Sorry for what I have done, for being impatient, silly and everything. Thank You for the strong Holy Spirit in me. Thank You for Dawn, Jacqueline and everyone. In Lord Jesus’s Name I pray, Amen.

A recent account: I prayed for this dear p4 boy and God answers prayers-

“Dawn, I have decided to become a Christian and go to church. Don’t tell my grandmother and uncle. I am going to throw away this Buddhist charm.”-the boy

“How about I bring you to church?”-Dawn

“Will you tell my Uncle?”-the boy

“Of course not!”-Dawn

“=P (Grins) Ok”

Jacqueline’s little encounter with God =p (Grins) She is 3 weeks old Christian.

“I never knew it last time but now, I feel like God speaks to me. Whenever I am in church, even if I am tired but I feel like crying. When they asked who wants to believe in Jesus, I didn’t want to put up my hand but something in me says “since you come all the way here, why don’t you?” If I ignore the voice, I feel so uneasy. I think it’s must be God.”

Dear sis, Ling Li ‘s SMS.

“Dinner on the house, See you for Bible study this Friday.” (This dear sis has been blessing me with her mom’s home-cook food every bible study. So touched and blessed by her and her mother. =P)

=P Thank you so much all of you and some I didn’t mention~ my heart is so blessed by those young and little ones in God’s kingdom.

Let me journey on with God and others in His love. It is ok that it gets tough and sometimes, people leave you. It is ok that sometimes people forget about you or is nasty to you because loving others is also accepting him/her in all kinds of situations. I have learnt ‘acceptance’ this year. It is a big word for me because accepting is simply loving the person~ he/her within. Not what he/she can do or will do, whether he/she love/like you, whether he/she impresses you or not and even those times when he/she makes so many mistakes and dragged you into it. You still love, and not an inch in your heart feels any hatred or anger. You always choose to forgive, accept and believe in him/her again. Seeing Christ in him/her and appreciating the goodness in him/her. It may seems silly and even like a doormat but look @ this verse ya?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres.”-1 Corinthians 13

Beautiful isn’t it?

Hey my dear friend, Hm. Even though we might not see or talk to each other. But, you are a dear friend to me always =P I will be sooooooo happy when you finally graduate~ think I will cry…haha… I know it’s your dream to be in a graduation gown. Will be so proud of you and thank God!!!! Hey, you know that God has given you a great purpose in both your work and studies…Jia You and don’t lose sight. Will always be praying for you ya? As time goes by, I just simply see the person in you~ simple and pure-hearted. Don’t be someone else but just be you. Being you is good enough =P. It is not by what we can do, if we have a credit card or a car, if we impressed someone or how people looked at us-but be ourselves.

I want the best for you and you take care, big elephant. =P

Loves,
Dawn

I have not been so close with nature like now. Well, I lived in a National Park @ Khorat, Thailand and been to some tribes in Northern Thailand etc. I don’t like the new resident which stays in my toilet~ Mr Tiny Froggy.
He is dark green with large curious eyes and hops really fast and high. I discovered him one of those mornings a week ago. In my half asleep state, going into the bathroom to bathe, a frog jumped out! I didn’t have my contact lens on but I knew it’s a frog. What else can jump like this? Gosh. I was irritated because it’s not pleasant to scream like that in the morning and yes, for a few days too. I have two bathrooms and Mr Tiny Froggy migrants from one to another. It’s like playing a guessing game each time I want to bathe.
My neighbour, didn’t even realize it till I told her. Mr Grasshopper and a few other types of insects came by too sometimes. Eh. Wonder what season is this for so many of them to visit our toilet. Last time, a yellow frog, Mr Poisonous Froggy stayed outside my room too. Gosh~ let’s all live in harmony ok? =p Well, God created them for His pleasure, not mine.

Dawn
A Girl Who Follows Christ
CS MUSIC. FAIRE LA BISE: JANICE'S SHOP . EL MERCI BLOGSHOP: ELAINE'S SHOP. JON WEE'S MUSIC. JON + DAWN: OUR JOURNEY TOGETHER.

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23TH jANuARY 2009 "I have loved you with an everlasting love. With loving kindness, I have drawn you."~Jeremiah 31:3