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A New Journey in ministry
Well, actually I couldn't imagine that I am stepping down from the leadership of Beloved Group soon after 6 years of leading, planning and doing almost everything.
How Beloved started?
Indeed, Beloved represented my re-kindled love for the Lord 6 years ago. An terrible mistake that I made brought me back to God and made me realised that He is my Beloved. :) I started reading the Bible and I could read for hours as though every word came into being. It was an unforgettable experience for me. My friend, Janice has been encouraging me in my Christian journey. That time, we started to give other bible studies. When we do bible studies, we invited our friends who are non christian to join us. The Lord became real to them and they became Christians! Jon was our first worship leader then. :) (Tee-hee)
The ups and downs
My journey in the Beloved Group is tied closely to my growth in the Lord. There were alot of tears, alot of disappointments, alot of joy and smiles :) In the process of serving the Lord, I remembered crying before my co-workers about being weary and tired, wanting to give up, and sharing how discouraged I was. I also remembered moments of very difficult times in my personal life and how I still have to tell myself "God's mission raises above all." Times where I cried before the Lord and feeling completely drained. Now, these remained fond and learnt lessons.
First public speaking experience
I also experienced my first fruits in sharing the gospel to my friends. Almost all my close friends came to know the Lord! Also, my first moments of sharing the gospel infront of 20 to 40 friends! I always felt so nervous and like a fool. (Haha!) Those were my very first public speaking moments. ;) I have done it for 6 years for now. The joy of sharing the gospel and giving bible studies is so great. Those are the moments that I grew. Yes, i remembered those times where I saw sea of 80 to 100 elderly from York Hill and Henderson gathering for our events, blessing them, conversing with them etc.
"My Beloved is Mine and I am His." ~Songs of SongsMy journey of serving in Beloved Group is coming to an end. Indeed, it is a faith adventure of knowing and serving my Savior, Jesus Christ. It has been a privilege.
What's next? (That whats everyone has been asking!!) Will shall update you soon :)
The beauty sleep
I am a light sleeper. Whenever, there is loud sounds, i couldn't sleep well. When I sleep over at my mum's place, she snores like a mini train and I couldn't sleep well. To my surprise, I could sleep despite of the alot of sound yesterday night. That tells me how tired I am.
I haven't been sleeping well past few days and decided to sleep early last night. (The doctor gave me some pills to make me drowsy..but I don't feel so lar) Guess what..i slept so much that I woke up feeling alittle goggy. To my surprise, the whole house was in a mess. Tables flipped and my shoe rank over-turned. Some bowls were broken and utensils were all over the floor.
A "hurricane" came upon my place yesterday....
I AM SO TIRED!!!!
Aaaahhhhhhh....i am so super tired. I have so much responsibilities and it tires me out. I am actually glad that the year is coming to an end. I don't know if I have done my best as a human being... :( I know it sounds weird..but I kept trying my best in everything I could.
As a daughter?
As a sister?
As a girlfriend?
As a friend?
As a leader of Beloved?
As a HOD in Children's?
As a colleague?
As a cell member?
As a church member?
As a child of God?
As a Christian?
I know i can stress myself too much. BUT, i am going to just relax again. Today, I shall go back and watch TV, run (okie..i got to force myself for this) and hope that I could sleep well. (I don't seem to sleep well at my mum's place)
Today, also think about financial stuff again...not that I am in need. Recently, this things surfaced. I guess at the end of the day, even how much i give a thinking and planning to these things, nothing actually change. I already did my best... However, in the morning, i just told myself to "Trust God!" "Enough is enough."
Ok, this post is intended to be real cause I am kinda tired.
I chanced upon a blog where a couple who lost their child when he is only a few months old due to some medical complications. The story just touches me. Just reminded me how little men are.
"As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourished.
For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it
no more." Psalm 103:15-16
Indeed, i was touched by the love the couple has for the baby and their trust in God. I am sure when the baby died, it was the saddest day of their life (literally as how the mother puts it) but they still praise God.
There is always a reason to praise Him because of who He is. And, circumstances/situations might not appear so, (to be easy and smooth) but, somehow with God, He makes it His burdens and not ours. For example for me, no matter how i felt sometimes, there is like an inner strength that pull it through. People call that "Resilience". I call it "My Resilience is in Christ."
I felt it doesn't help to be inward looking or to think about how you feel or think...it doesn't mean not to attend to feelings but i guess not to dwell overly with it. Well, for me, i would like to learn not too.
Come on..come on..its time to move on.
Shopping time!
Not that i dislike shopping. But, usually the moment i have gotten my pay, i have other priorities or financial committments that the list of things i want to buy appeared insignificant and unimportant. Sometimes when i do window shopping, it gives you the mentality that you actually don't have enough or you are in lack. Thats how the shops position themselves. I also couldn't understand one could buy very branded goods as it appears all the same to me. Well, maybe because i might not have that kind of luxury so i don't really know how is it possible.
I advised myself to create a shopping list....(below items are actually not a NEED but a WANT)
1. Appropriate working clothes. (Shirts x2, Pants x1, Skirt x1(Below knee)
~I have a huge problem with this. Corporate apparrel don't appeal to me! And, I always reason within that i should get something that i would wear casually and work so that i am not wasting money.
2. Casual Clothes. (2 x dresses, Cardigan x1, Shorts x1)
~Because i used my casual clothes as work clothes, i end up having not much casual clothes. What a confused messed up girl i am!
3. Shoes! (This is a NEED)
~My shoes damages every few months because I am born with "Destructive feet Syndrome"
5. Mascara
6. Face Foundation
7. Eye Liner
8. Perfume
9. Facial Package and products
10. Vitamins and supplments for my dad
11. Bags to keep stuff
12. Nice nice Bras and undies :) (haha)
the list goes on...