I felt kinda shock that a friend of mine is leaving the social work scene. I always thought that in social work line, passion drives a kind of calling and a certain kind of lifestyle.
We went into the social work sector around the same time. I remembered we had frequent discussions (even arguments) on our practice. He is very passionate and delicated worker. Now, he is so disillusioned about his work that he is going to leave the social work sector and go into another sector. He told me that he would not go into the VWO sector because he felt he deserved more. I am not in the position to say anything as he does has his own issues and challenges. In anyway, in God's Kingdom, there might be more than serving the poor and needy.
Anyway, i wouldn't know if I would stay in the social work scene for long too. I don't know.
Baby Dayna
Introducing a new member in my family..Baby Dayna! Isn't she so beautiful? (just like her mummy :)) She may look so super sweet..haha..but she has her moods. Her first few months on Earth was alot of crying for milk and everything else. Now, she moans with days of boredom and always look forward to going out! :) I don't mind being fat with such a sweet little girl.
Social Work Diary
I miss those days where I get in touch with the youths and children at risk. Sometimes, their life troubles me. Other times, it inspires me. They are a group of very strong people surviving through circumstances, yet, weaken by the number of issues they are trapped in.
I remembered a mother of 2 sons I have known. Her husband left her when her children were quite young. Before her husband left her, he led her elder son to astray doing drugs and trafficking drugs. Her elder son was caught and put into Boys Home then prison for drugs. She worked very hard to support her younger son. When he was 9 years old, he was diagnosed with leukemia. She has to juggle between working and taking care of her son. Once her son was under remission, she went into depression. Her depression caused her son to be put under temporary care in a Home setting. Thats when I came about to know the case.
She is a hardworking woman who loves her son alot but does not know how to discipline him. She is also engulfed by the difficult circumstances of life, managing to be employability and getting very little pay.
While I was working with the youths and children at risk, it was tough emotionally and physically. Some cases were of many layers of issues and families were going through cycles. I see sad stories. I chase after at risk youths/kids. They hate me for doing that. However, all the time and effort were worth it. I miss working directly with them.
Well, i guess there are different challenges in different job scopes. Now, I am facing a very different set of challenges.
I am TIRED.
I don't know how to describe how DRY i am feeling now, and I detest that. I sense no comfort from the Lord nor real understanding and comfort from people. Maybe its just that I didn't know how to really express, or i am just dry that I am speechless, or I am complaining that nobody enjoy listening.
I didn't want to complain. Everyday, I pray to God to change my heart, to make me alive again.
Gosh.
Its simply affecting me as a person. And, i detest the "me" now. I am going through the motion in almost everything.
I am really wanting a real break away. I just had my leave last wednesday but I felt more tired. I think I need a longer break. I look forward to my retreat with the Lord. Its going to be a real great one. Its going to be on 01st January. I will probably take more days.
Now, I just want to go MIA everywhere and not see anyone.