Journey with Him

Wednesday, April 15, 2009 @10:56 PM

Last night, enjoyed myself walking down the memory lane at Trinity Theological College, looking at the beautiful cross i fixed my eyes upon. This time, i came back with much difference. Every night i go back, i would keep looking at the cross while climbing the stairs up. I would talk to God..."i miss you so much, God. Why don't You take me Home to be by your side?" I don't know if anyone would totally understand how i felt. It was such a lonely moment then, and yet, bittersweet because God is with you all the time. It's sad for me because i know His total presence is not on this earth and that longing for a real Home to be Him who loves you so much.

Last night, i went back again and once again, the memories of 9months at TTC flooded back. I guess that season was over. The scene at TTC reminded me of what i have spoken to God about when I met Him up for our special day on 1st January 2009. Yes. An act of honoring Him first before anything else, to give Him the first fruits above all else.

This morning, i woke up at 10am (i woke in noons on Mondays and Thursdays) and went for a jog. I came back praying and spending time with my Love One, remembering Him and also moments in TTC.

"Dearest Father in Heaven, You are my dearest. I miss you everyday and NONE can replace You. I know whenever I miss Home, I simply miss being with You in the totality of Your presence. My Home does not dwell on earth with people who does not love me as much as You do. I want to thank You for blessing me so much, and everything, every aspect of my life. I am well favored by You, and Your favor and blessing followed me wherever I go. I do not deserve it but You simply gave unconditionally. You have also made it so different for me when I returned last night, with warmth in my hand, no longer in solitude and tears but with love that i don't really deserve. Help me to honor You with my first fruits, and to serve You wherever You have called me to. Help me to desire You more and more, not a deer panting for the rivers. I don't want to stop. I love You, my Father in Heaven."

-In Jesus Name, Amen