Calling
I have a calling. When I was 14 years old. I saw television of children lying on the streets unloved, uncared for and unwanted. I cried. I tell myself: "I want to live a life giving to the needy children and youths." That's when my social worker dream was born. That time, i wasn't a Christian but i clearly knew that i would settle for nothing less than being in the helping profession because to me, that's was the only meaningful life i knew.
Children Society Internship
I never lost that passion and when i became a Christian, it grew stronger. At 18, i was doing my Dipolma in Interactive Media Design @ Temasek Polytechnic, majoring in Film. I like directing and acting. For my internship, instead of going to Mediacorp for internship, i went to Children Society. I wanted to go into social work but i knew the only way then was through NUS social work and with my grades, I can't. Anyway, I wouldn't and couldn't give up.
Christian Studentcare
When i graduated, I ended up in a Christian Studentcare. That's was my first experience working with children. To be honest, i was really bad. I felt so inadequent that time. Children aren't all angels. I prayed very hard every lunch time and was really asking myself if I really want to be in Socialwork working with children and youths. I have no experience and no skills. I am really bad at what i was doing. I struggled like crazy. And, I took my part-time degree course in Psychology knowing that that is another way to gg to social work. I wouldn't and couldn't give up.
Christian Kindergarten
I went to a Christian Kindergarten after that. I just wanted to gain experience working with children. I LOVE YOUNG CHILDREN. Don't tell their parents! I would snap some of their pictures in my phone and look at them before i sleep sometimes. THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. And, I love talking to them. =D Every single unhappy moment would be gone just talking to them. I know how parents could feel so tired after work but when they come back seeing their toddlers running to them, AWWW....EVERYTHING IS WORTH IT. It was a great period of my time. I remembered many of their beautiful faces now. I can still remember them sitting at my lap and i always hug them!!! =D Well, i had struggles too. My pay was very little that time and I was studying part time, struggling to pay my school fees. God always provides and it's was all worth it. =)
Gangsters and rebellion @ Social Service agency
Thank God for the job even though i have no experience and no qualification, they gave me a chance due to my passion. I ended up with 20 boys with tattoos and all from gangs. ~Haha. What a start. I almost drowned but I learnt the hard ways. I see them everyday and actually, i grown to love them because they are simply people who many seen as rude, delinquent, no future etc. But, they are simply not describe above!! They are really people with stories to tell and potential. Then, i worked with children too. The children i worked with outsmart me all the time. They run, they hide and they messed things up. Nothing new under the Sun. They are not angels! But, really children who are trapped. Really trapped. I shall not describe further. I constantly must learn how to handle every single child and youth. All different. I really admire the resilient in tough circumstances. They are all so young..and sometimes, it really angry and sad to see all these happening. =( Well, that's why social workers are here for. NOT that we want to save the world. But, WE BELIEVE IN EACH AND EVERYONE OF THEM THAT THEY ARE WORTH THE LOVE, THE WORK, THE EFFORT AND THE TIME. Do you agree with me? That's why I wouldn't and couldn't give up.
Now: Children's work.
I never doubt God's calling for me in the serving the children and youth. I wasn't natural at it. I wasn't born with the gifting. If you see me now, you would say I am because I can talk to any child of any age and background any youth of age and background. But, it was God's work for me. I struggle now and I feel inadequent. But, I wouldn't and couldn't give up. I have decided that my life is to give to them.
Children and youths.
It's my calling.
My partner [hubby] needs to have the same calling because together, God will use us. =) That's my desire and prayer.
If I am not a social worker.....
~I would be a Full time Mummy and Wife, loving and caring for my hubby and children
~A Church worker [working w children/youths]
~A Childcare teacher [*One of my dreams*]
I am sure all these above would come by in seasons of my life. =)
Prayer:
Dear Father in Heaven, You know my struggles and inadequency. But because of my weaknesses, You are strong in Me. Your grace never fails me. Your grace is a BIG BIG grace. I am Your child. Hug and embrace me every day because I need You. I feel so small for the big task you have laid me for me now. Even though you have place it in my heart for one year, Lord, I still feel overwhelmed. But, Your timing is a perfect one. Those moments when you place in my heart and I became impaitient, You said "Dawn, you have to be faithful. Wait upon Me." And, when it finally comes, I still feel off-guard. How strange, how weird and how funny I can be. But, Lord, You love me.
There is another thing that you have placed in my heart for almost 1 year now. Lord, as usual, i am impaitient. Your voice is really clear in this matter yet, i can doubt You. I have sinned and I need Your forgiveness. I cannot ask You "how long must I wait?" or neither am I in the position to do anything. I can only surrender to You daily and say "Lord, You work in Your ways." Because, it obviously the best. Thank You Lord for everything
"My Soul Followeth Hard After Thee: Thy Right Hand up Holdeth Me."-Psalm 63. God, I will never want to lose sight of You. I will follow You wherever You lead me. I cannot do without You. Even if my parents forsake me, even if nobody cares for me, even if I am all alone, Lord, you will take care of me. Thank You Lord for everything
In Jesus Christ' Name I committ and pray,
Amen
My Jesus-Lover of my Soul.
